I finally realized that Iâm simply someone who feels restless and uneasy in the wilderness and canât truly relax there.
To put it more specifically, I live in California, where spending weekends and vacations camping in the mountains or going skiing in the winter are considered pretty normal ways to relax and have fun. But those activities just arenât for me.
After living in Silicon Valley for eight years, Iâve finally come to realize thisâand, more importantly, to accept this part of myself. I simply donât feel relaxed or happy doing these things.
I feel cold. I feel tired. The sun makes me uncomfortable, and the wind triggers my allergies. On top of all that, doing these activities with someone who is already on my to-do list to divorce only makes the whole thing feel even more unnecessary.
This realization is just one of the many things Iâve discovered through becoming more self-aware. Iâve learned that this is simply who I am, and Iâm happy to accept myself this way. Instead of trying to enjoy the things Iâm supposedly âsupposedâ to enjoy, Iâm starting to figure out what actually makes me feel happy, comfortable, and truly relaxed.